HAVEN brings consent training to seniors

In February, seniors were assigned to attend consent training on specific days. They were separated into groups based on their gender identity of female, male or non-gender specific.

While students were assigned consent training sessions, they were also given the choice to opt out by family request. 

Angie Southworth, Dean of Students, said it was important for students to know about consent before they leave high school.

“It’s an opportunity for students to learn about something that is important in their lives,” Southworth said. “Especially as they leave our high school and they go out into the world to learn about healthy relationships and what consent is, and to make sure that they are aware of themselves and what they want in their lives. So we view it as something that’s really valuable for you.”

Averett Robey, the presenter for the male and non-gender specific consent training, said there are many factors to consider when deciding what is more beneficial for students in terms of whether they are separated by gender or grouped together.

“From a research perspective, there’s some evidence out there that talks about how gender segregating in conversations like this can actually increase the comfort level in conversations we’re able to have, actually specifically for young men,“ Robey said.

Shelby Nardone, the presenter for the female group consent training, said research shows that girls don’t experience a big difference when it comes to being in mixed or separate gendered groups.

“I think what research also tells us and suggests is that when we have mixed gender conversations, One, it’s more inclusive of folks who do not fall within the gender binaries,” Nardone said. “We’re not missing anybody or singling them out in this conversation, they feel included. 

“And the second piece is that I think it gives men and boys a chance to hear the experiences of women and girls. And what we know to be true in violence prevention is that empathy is really at the core of that, like ‘How do you empathize with another person’s lived experience, and how do we make changes based on those experiences?’”

Southworth said students were separated into gendered groups to make them feel more comfortable. A non-gender specific group was offered for those that didn’t want to be in a specific female or male group.

Cyrelle Wheeler, another presenter for the non-gender specific group, said feelings that come with being with the other genders are tied to what our culture gives us. They said it’s important to be separated because it’s safer.

“A lot of times, our culture tells us, if 99% of violent crimes are committed by men, and we’re having a conversation about these things, and those people are in the room, folks may not feel as comfortable,” Wheeler said. “And at the same time, people who are being accused of the crimes may feel like this is a witch hunt.”

Nardone said that the overall topics and information of the training are based on what is relevant in the world, and can change from year to year.

“I hope that students walk away from these conversations knowing what sexual violence is. Knowing what is consent, and how to practice it in their lives,” Robey said. “More specifically, what can we be doing to actually interrupt and intervene and create a world free from violence.

“I tell people, ‘This is not inevitable.’ It’s not just happening like the weather. It’s important that we know what to do because it’s impacting people in our schools, communities, lives and maybe even ourselves.”

Southworth said that a lot of the feedback received from students regarding their experiences with consent training was positive.

“Everything that I’ve heard was that it was a fabulous learning opportunity,” Southworth said. “Students who were even a little bit nervous about attending or unsure about the content got a lot out of it.”

In regard to students who have experienced violence, Nardone said she hopes they feel validated and heard in this conversation and that students have a better understanding and have actual tools and skills to be able to have these conversations in their lives.

“I think a lot of times, we think that making changes is like, ‘I have to change the world.’ But really, I think it’s small steps,” Wheeler said.

Robey said he wants their conversations to be reflective of the questions that others have and address the information they want and need to know.

“I’m open to having all conversations because life is not black and white. Life is not clear cut and it’s important that we have a safe space to talk about it,” Robey said.